You Want More AI, We’ve Got You Covered
AI is everywhere. Tired of it yet? Don't worry. There's more where that came from.
Hi there! You may not know me, but I know all about you. I’m your local tech executive.
We’ve heard it. We understand. Which is why we’re adding more AI!
MORE AI TO EVERYTHING!
Now, everywhere you look on any of your devices (Phone, Computer, TV), you’ll see the tell-tale signs of AI slop. Someone sent you an email, don’t worry about reading it. AI will incorrectly summarize it for you. Did someone compromise your bank account… or is it just a standard invoice? You’ll have to find out after your trip to the cardiologist.
We know, we know! How did we find more space to add AI slop?
We have to tell you, it wasn’t easy. Not in the slightest. We’ve already jammed every inch and corner with AI crap. But, we took a beat from Pizza Hut. Like cheese on a pizza, we can find new places to stuff it—cheese crust, double cheese, cheese dough, cheese on cheese action!
Now, we’ve decided to add AI right to your device’s home screen. Right there waiting for you like a deranged Clippy.
If you want to know how to switch it off. You can’t. Not without really Googling it… and even that will pull up an AI response which won’t help at all. We made sure to prevent you from switching it off so you just deal with it until you can ignore it properly, like that weird pain you have in your lower back.
You’re wondering. Please, God! When will this end?!
Look at the stock market. You have to wait for these bright-eyed investors to realize that no one wants AI. Of course, our investors don’t use AI—that’s crap. But you… you will have to one day. And we’ll be there, waiting, in plain sight. Ready to offer you bad writing, bad advice, and bad images that can be shared on Facebook and convince your aunt that a dog really can play poker.
You’re welcome.
Signed,
That tech executive