Why Another Stoic Blog?
A New Dad’s Stoic Journey
Hi there! I’ll be honest. This blog is for me. I’m a writer, and writing is how I process things. Mainly, I write fiction, but as it’s now 1 day before my daughter is born, I feel now is the time
to sit down and get to work writing nonfiction, so I can be the patient, kind, caring and the Stoic dad I would like to be.
I know that being a dad won’t be easy. I know that it will be challenging, it’ll challenge me. This is why I’m creating a weekly Stoic blog to ensure I stay on track with my reading, my writing and my patience.
The thinking is: if I have a blog, I’ll read more Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. I believe I will be a better dad doing so, and better at being more kind to myself and to the people close to me.
Even though I’m writing this for me, I like to think it means I’m writing this Stoic blog for you, too. The advice I discover, the stories I tell, the reading and Stoic exercises I practice—I think they will be helpful to you.
You probably noted that I said in 1 day I will have a daughter. This is my first child, so technically I’m not a dad yet. I’m a dad-in-waiting. A dad-in-waiting who is anxious about what is on the other side of this title change, this new role I’ll have—a promotion some would say.
Even though I’m writing this for me, I like to think it means I’m writing this Stoic blog for you, too.
To say I’m anxious would be an understatement. I’m concerned (as any new parent likely is) about what exactly it is I got myself into. But I’m mostly excited.
This is where Stoicism comes in handy. Stoicism is a practical philosophy that can be distilled down to a simple idea: you can’t control events but you can control how you react to them. As Epiecteus says right at the start of The Enchiridion:
“There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power.”
I can control how I react, and I can try to understand that my nervousness is warranted but I do not need to let it consume me. Nervousness is a fear of the unexpected. As Seneca says in Letter 13 of Letters from a Stoic:
“How often has the unexpected happened! How often has the expected never come to pass!”
Why run to meet a what if if it’s unlikely to happen? And surely it’s most likely not going to happen.
What are my what ifs? I’m nervous about being a dad. I want to be a good dad. I’m nervous about the operation my wife is undergoing. I’m nervous for my daughter. But I should instead focus on what I can control, which is myself. Be a good husband, do the best I can, and focus on the excitement I have. Don’t focus on the later which is what nervousness is, an overreliance on prediction. Remember how often your lucky numbers won you the lottery? Instead, focus on the now.
These sorts of insights are what makes studying Stoicism important.
I can’t promise my interpretations will always align with yours, but that’s the great thing about literature and thought: conversation.
I’m a new dad who is writing to figure out what that means through the lens of Stoicism. There may be a ton of these sorts of blogs but what makes this unique is I’m the one writing this one. This is A New Dad’s Stoic Journey.